There's Only 1 Singer Allowed to Chant about the Battlefield of Love

And that is Pat Benatar.

I don't like this new song by Jordin Sparks.

It's Jordin vs. Pat, and Benatar won a long time ago.

CRAP:

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing

Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again

Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war

You know I never wanna hurt you

Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?

Kosher:

We are young,

Heartache to heartache we stand.

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield.

This Article Makes me REALLY Mad: The Myth About Exercise May be That it Doesn't Work

"The Myth About Exercise May be That it Doesn't Work".. seriously Yahoo! Shine? You're going to promote not exercising to a country that is 2/3rds obese? It's really about healthy eating? I think NOT.

I have gotten to my ideal size two ways in my life: one was through stress (bad) and the other was through exercise and eating mostly healthy (good). But I have always been healthier when I exercise and keep my body in shape. There are so many benefits to exercise besides shaping up and losing weight:

- Reduce the risk of premature death
- Reduce the risk of developing and/or dying from heart disease
- Reduce high blood pressure or the risk of developing high blood pressure
- Reduce high cholesterol or the risk of developing high cholesterol
- Reduce the risk of developing colon cancer and breast cancer
- Reduce the risk of developing diabetes
- Reduce or maintain body weight or body fat
- Build and maintain healthy muscles, bones, and joints
- Reduce depression and anxiety
- Improve psychological well-being
- Enhanced work, recreation, and sport performance (http://www2.gsu.edu/~wwwfit/benefits.html)

I am an advocate of exercise and (mostly) healthy eating. Don't listen to these weird studies that don't survey their overall health! They just surveyed the overall weight loss, and found there wasn't a huge difference between those that ate well and those that ate well and worked out with a personal trainer. I guess they forgot that muscle weighs more than fat.

EXERCISE! RUN! SWIM! GET OUT THERE and DO something with your life! You have at least 30 minutes every day to do SOMETHING. Instead of watching TV, go outside for a walk. Don't carry cash or your debit or credit card with you if you know you will be tempted to go eat fast food (if it's a daily habit). Spend your money from fast food on a $30 a month gym pass. I PROMISE you have the money. Go, go, go! You don't have an excuse.

"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness." ~Edward Stanley

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." ~Plato

No Make up = Happy Face, Happy Bank Account, Happy Fiance

I'm trying this new thing out. Well, it's not really new. I was a lifeguard for 4 years, so I had an excuse during the summers not to wear make up. My face was super tan and healthy looking and make up would have been wasted in the chlorine-infested water of the Provo, UT and Bakersfield, CA public swimming pools. (Which I shouldn't complain about too much because the chemicals in those pools did wonders to clear up my face)

But now, I just don't want to wear make up because I don't want to keep buying new stuff every month. If I only wear it on Sundays for church, it lasts a lot longer. Now, mascara, as a general rule, should be replaced every month. That is okay, since I use the green/pink Maybelline one in Blackest Black and it's only 4 bucks. But I don't want to spend $50-100 every month on face make up.

I think my face is starting to forgive me already from years of MAC make up abuse.

Maybe this will also help me have a healthy wedding-day glow.

P.S. Everyone should put on SPF 45 sunscreen EVERYDAY even if you are outside for just a total of 5 minutes. I got the continuous-spray sunscreen because I like it best. Go spend $7 at Target and save your life. And the lives of your unborn children.

Pre-Wedding Day Meltdown-- In T-Minus 5 seconds...

Weddings are STRESSFUL. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L. Sometimes I wish I could just go to the courthouse. No flowers, no food, no cake, no stress. I guess I shouldn't really be complaining since my aunt and my favorite Diane are planning the reception for me. I got my dress, I got my hair appt, and my trial hair appt, I got my fiance... now I need shoes, a veil, an awesome bakery that isn't too expensive, and who knows what else.

All I think about is that I get to spend a week in paradise following this major stress enhancer. I've never been to Mexico, and Cancun is GORGEOUS. I can't wait!!! Plus, by the time the next 53 days are over, I will be GRADUATED!!! G-R-A-D-U-A-T-E-D!! From COLLEGE.

But then I have to find a grown-up job.

Yuck.

Or do I got back to school for web design? So many choices, so, so many choices...

11 Reasons Why My Summer is Stressful:

11 Reasons Why my Summer is Stressful, or,

11 Reasons Why I can't wait 'til September 5th!

1. I work 10-14 hour days.

2. I have one job to pay the bills.

3. I have my internship go to after the paying-job.

4. I have to work out 5 times a week.

5. My church calling keeps me super busy.

6. I have to plan a wedding.

7. I am making my own invitations.

8. Wedding dresses are ridiculous.

9. Engagement photos are ridiculous.

10. I have to complete one online religion class by the end of August.

11. I don't have time to watch The Bachelorette or So, You Think You Can Dance?

Genetically Engineered Foods and Stuff

I've become somewhat of pescatarian in the past year--- I really only like to eat fish. And fish that is uncooked, as well (Sushi, anyone?). I have major issues with the United States Department of Agriculture and the food company conglomerates that are controlling the marketplace (Sources: Fast Food Nation, The Way We Eat, Documentary: Super Size Me, Documentary: The Future of Food, The Fatland of America)

I have the information available to make a smart decision when it comes to what I eat, yet I still buy my groceries at Albertson's or Smith's, and I still eat out at *gasp* fast food restaurants. And all these stores and restaurants are full of foods that have been genetically modified. U.S. food regulation agencies turn their head the other way for the right price, and so far, there has only been ONE human study of G.E. food effects. These scientists and laboratories are creating seeds that can only grow when certain pesticides are sprayed on them. Ironically, the pesticide industry has bought out the seed industry. So farmers who grow G.E. corn MUST also use the company's pesticide.

I am taking a stand against this evil and corrupt industry. I hereby promise to only eat Organic Consumers Association Organic-Certified products. I will not eat out unless I know the food is organic. I will not eat meat unless I know the farms have grass-fed their animals and let them roam free in a pasture instead of piled on top of each other on a stock farm. Seriously you guys... this is for real! I already know which grocery stores I can shop at. Take a stand with me and vote with your dollar! Don't buy fast food or non-organic products! Your health (and your future/current children's health) is at risk.

P.S. I really don't care if YOU buy organic. So we can still be friends.

P.P.S. I'm not trying to attack any of my friend-moms.

I think eating breakfast makes me hungrier during the day.

I think I'm stuck in a food rut. I have this mental block that prevents me from preparing and eating healthy foods because I think it's too difficult/long/hard/ toilsome/irritating/painful. And I'm too hungry at the time to wait longer than 1 minute to satisfy my famishment. So here comes the fast food, which provides a fleeting moment of tangible ecstasy, only to be followed by hours of internal distress as my organs try to digest the many-times processed "food". And fast food also goes against EVERY moral I hold dear in regards to eating unprocessed foods. So now I'm a hypocrite. That has also gained 8 pounds since January. Gross, gross, gross.

Oh, The Eternal Ravenousness Desires of My Abominable Abdomen. Which is aided by my big breakfast habits, which is SUPPOSED to be healthy! Yes, I know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But it leaves me starving at 10 a.m., starving at 12 p.m.,. starving at 2 p.m., starving at 4 p.m., starving at 6 p.m., and so on. And when I DON'T eat breakfast, I only get hungry at about 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. at night. Which is the lesser of the two evils?

So I'm finally breaking this late night Papa Johns-ish habit by finding easy-to-make healthy recipes that don't take longer than 30 minutes to make (Thank you, Yahoo! Foods). There are bounteous amounts of recipes out there that fit my particular demands. BOTTOM LINE: my (future) kids are NOT going eat Happy Meals three times a week. I refuse. It's fresh chicken or die (... of processed foods and chemicals and toxins)!! (Organic and non-caged chicken ONLY. After all, I'm a member of Omnivores for the Ethical Treatment and Humane Slaughter of Animals, better known as OETHSA).

[organic] Chicken or die!!

[organic] CHICKEN OR DIE!!!!

GLEE: Don't Stop Believin'

I think I just found !!My new favorite show!!, most favorite out of anything I have ever watched in my entire life, inlcuding seasons 1 and 2 of The O.C., seasons 1, 2, and 5 of Desperate Housewives, season 4 of 24, and ANY of my reality TV or crime TV shows.

Its called "Glee". Don't prejudge this based on YOUR prejudices of Glee Club Geeks. Please watch this show. It will leave you feeling happy, ecstatic, elated, on cloud nine, sparkling, sunny, and jubilant. Excellent cast, excellent music, excellent writing... can you really ask for more?



Or, if the video doesn't work, go here.

Day 1 of Life Without Preservatives

Dear World/Blog/Journal/Followers:

It's been less than 24 hours since I have let a trans fat pass through my lips. Wait... I take that back. I went 14 hours without eating anything containing preservatives. However, after a minor mouth incident involving grapefruit and water, I had to eat something that would get the gross grapefruit aftertaste out of my mouth. And what is available at my workplace? Chex Mix Bars. I partook of the forbidden fruit at approximately 4:23 p.m. MST. And now I have a rumbly in my tumbly as my body tries to process the artificially made chemicals found in partially hydrogenated soybean oil.

In conclusion, I will stick to my fruit and veggie and homemade bread and sushi way of life from this hour forward.

xoxo - tracie girl

Am I Doomed to Endless Misery and Woe? (At least for 4 months)

It's only been a week since E left. And already I am BORED out of my FREAKING MIND.

I work from 10-1 and 2-8 every day except Wednesdays when I have the afternoon off. I come home exhausted at night. One job I enjoy-- the other is mindless work I do to pay the bills. My 2 p.m. resolve to hit the gym after work dramatically dwindles to little more than a fleeting thought by 8:00 p.m that sounds hilarious to my now crazed mind. Answering phone calls for 6 hours can do that do a person.

Even the thought of dragging myself to the grocery store sounds worse than the eternal doom of Sisyphus.

Where did all my energy go? Why can't I get up at 6 every morning and go for a 3 mile run? Why can't I cook dinner every night without tiring myself out at merely the thought?

All I want to do when I come home is sit on my bed, have the Lakers/ESPN/House on in the background, and Skype with E, which is slightly better than just a phone call.

Ugh. Any suggestions for getting some semblance of an invidious life?? Can I just move to Texas now??

The Other Guy in My Life...

This is Eric. He is my fiance who is leaving me in less than 2 weeks to move to Houston to get a job (He graduates Thursday, yay!!!).
What does this mean? Tracie is dateless for the summer... OR IS SHE????

This is William Brian Nolte. The one single guy Eric says I am allowed to be alone with this summer. Eric says he won't even mind if I take his pants off-- (OKAY, people, we're talking poopy diapers here!) Woot Woot. I hope he pays when we go to the movies... or at least refrains from spitting up on me...

Which one is cuter? Which one is cuter? I don't know, I don't know, but I have 4 months to make up my mind!

F.I.N.A.L.S.

I don't have a clean, Mormonified acronym for "Finals", and I'm not gonna use the one I know. Needless to say, finals are finally upon us here at BYU and we get to laugh in the faces of our out-of-state peers who still have two months-ish left of school, who were laughing at us just last week during their Spring Break vacays.

This is my LAST full semester (FINALLY!!!) and I cannot be happier. I can't WAIT to get out of Provo. It has brought me the best times and the worst times in my life.

I will not write another Ode to Finals Week. I don't think these lasts tests I take warrant such a loving and thoughtful and time-consuming action from myself.

Yay for me! I graduate as soon as I finish my internship! With the Orem Owlz!

But I just keep thinking...

What will I do without my security blanket of school and PELL grants... how am I going to SURVIVE?? Eeekk!!!!

I think I'm just gonna go hide in my bedroom and watch reruns of Desperate Housewives while eating my Banana Cake with cream cheese frosting...

Don't Worry 'Bout Me, I Got It Covered...

Let's face it, ladies, there are just certain times of the month when one would kill for a brownie (Skinny Brittany) or one might have a hankering for any kind of cake that includes cream cheese frosting (who, me???)...

Yes, guilty as charged. I guess I shouldn't make it quite so obvious by hugging the Booty Filler/Fat Lump Creator.

I shouldn't love it so much, but there's really nothing I can do, and when the hormones are a'raging, I must be a'eatin', or all H-E Double Hockey Sticks breaks loose.

But really, after a grapes and banana Saturday night, I was ready. And thank-you, Easter, and really, any holiday, that allows for the extra sumptousness and trans fatty-ness in my increasingly bland and organic only life.

And I believe tomorrow is Easter Monday (there IS such a holiday!), so I, of course, must celebrate the holiday by eating my homemade banana cake with cream cheese frosting.

Oh crap... what am I going to be like when I'm PREGNANT?? Poor Eric... poor, poor Eric. Start praying for his sanity and safety now.

Mascara Ads: This is something I've been thinking about for a while...

I enjoy make up. Really, I do. I have been an avid MAC user since I was twelve, and recently converted over to BareMinerals as well.

But now I must expose them for their LIES:

THESE EYELASHES ARE FAKE.

I am utterly annoyed by every and all mascara ads. Not ONE of these models are wearing their own lashes--- ALL. FAKE. Every time a mascara ad comes on (especially the CoverGirl one with Drew Barrymore) I must change the channel to avoid throwing my TV out my window screaming "LIARS!!!!!" I get so peeved that these advertisers think we will actually believe their client's product has magically transformed the beautiful model's eyelashes into lush, gorgeous works of art.

Just give me an oldie but goodie and I'll be happy:

And, in the end, would we really buy their product if the eyelashes were short and clumpy? No. But let's be honest in our advertising...

Cheers and Jeers: Week in Review (New Feature!!... I'm so creative)

Okay people, here is my list of top ten things you should CHEER/JEER about last week (Yes, I semi-stole this from TV Guide.)

1. Jeers to Jon and Kate + 8. IT WAS A TOTAL SCAM. They aren't having marriage troubles... Jon is having identity issues. Get over it, Jon... you just bought a 1.4 million dollar house. I DON'T feel sorry for you.

2. Jeers to President Obama for scheduling a news conference during American Idol. I didn't learn anything new from the O, and I missed out on my Reality-TV Fix (see #7).

3. Cheers to facebook for starting a new "Pick your 5" application. The movies section includes ALL the old Disney Channel Original Movies. Love it.

4. Cheers to me and Brittany for eating (almost) an entire pan of homemade chocolate brownies. YUM YUM YUM.

5. Cheers to LILY ALLEN who is coming to Salt Lake City next month! AND I'M GOING TO THE CONCERT!! You don't understand, you guys... Alright, Still was the album that got me through my "tough times" last year. It's BRILLIANT. She's BRILLIANT. AND she coined my theme for the year: "I'm not a saint, and I'm not a sinner, and everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner." AND I get to hear her in person. Double Cheers for me.

6. JEERS to America for voting off Denise Richards from DWTS. It HURTS MY EYES to watch Steve Woz dance. HURTS my eyes. I don't think he deserved a 10 or to stay on the show. I have a theory he has some sort of advanced phone-calling system set up so he can win based off of votes alone...

7. CHEERS TO ME, who finally admitted that I am a (classy) Reality TV Junkie. I have to get my fix every week. But only with classy shows like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars and American's Next Top Model. NOT TRASHY SHOWS like Rock of Love, The Hills, The City, The Real World, Celebrity Rehab, etc.

8. CHEERS TO ME... my room has been completely clean this ENTIRE week. First time in my life! (I had to show E that I can be domestic... not to be confused with animal domestication)

9. JEERS to UCLA who lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament... they TOTALLY screwed up my bracket.

10. JEERS to Utah for NOT having spring like weather during the week we officially made it into spring. IT SNOWED last night. Yucky.

Stay tuned for next week's edition of CHEERS & JEERS... (now a Thursday feature, since I get out of school EARLY, and thus start my weekend EARLY)

What the Jon and Kate + 8?????

YOU GUYS. I am SO MAD. CAN YOU TELL? WHEN I AM ANGRY I WRITE IN ALL CAPS.

So one of my fav shows is Jon and Kate + 8. I feel like a member of the family because I get to experience everything with them. And I can't even stand to watch it anymore.

Apparently, they are having marital troubles (I, of course, understand that and my heart goes out to them!!!!!!). But DIVORCE RUMORS?? THEY HAVE EIGHT KIDS!! They need to cancel the show and cancel their speaking assignments and whatever else (Kate is ALWAYS gone these days) and move out of their 1.3 million dollar mansion and move into a modest but nice house and go to therapy and try and work it out for the sake of their kids. At least TRY. And Jon, you can stop going to the bars with the college girls. Grow up. You have eight kids. STOP GOING TO BARS!!

I mean, seriously, what are they going to do? Split the kids 50-50? I feel bad for the KIDS.

SO MAD. STILL MAD. But def. going to watch the season finale Monday night. Can't help it. (And if I change the channel during commercials, then I can say that I don't support the show financially, and screw the advertisers, right?? Right.)

Oh, THAT's how you do it.

Instruction manuals are for wussies.

According to the Book of Tracie on Life, anyway. I don't have time to sit around and actually READ how to do something. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to figure it out for myself. (But you should, *DUH*, read the Book of Tracie on Life).

Example A: Brita Pitcher:

Sooooo there's this thing called a filter that goes inside the Brita pitcher. I TRIED and I TRIED and I TRIED and I couldn't get the darn thing to fit inside. I guess I just wasn't strong enough (this WAS before my new found gym addiction where I am now lifting... 12 lbs!!!! On each arm!!!!).
I was SO MAD. I didn't WANT to drink Provo Water anymore... I wanted it filtered! *Starts the "I'm a 3 year old" temper-tantrum and stomps around kitchen*
Well, Fiance E came over and saw the predicament I was in.... took the filter and pitcher from my hand... turned the filter clock-wise so the right grooves in the filter lined up with the right grooves in the pictcher (WHAT?? Are you SERIOUS??), and there I stood, World's Biggest Idiot. Who could now, of course, drink filtered water. (YUM!)

That said, sometimes my own "smarts" take me months to figure something out on a gadget as opposed to reading it in 5 minutes when I first buy the product to save myself years of frustration and gray hairs.

My Camera: Fuji s800:

It's pretty, right?? Well imagine my frustration when I try to use my AWESOME camera for close up shots of my new bling bling on my left hand... and it turns. out. blurry. SO MAD. >:( *frowny face*

I mean, the ring LOOKS pretty and big, but why doesn't it can't one see the fine detail of this gorgeous ring?

Well, leave it to me to NOT open the instruction manual for my camera to see how I can make my picture better. Yes, I am proud to admit, after owning this camera for seven months, I, Tracie L. K*****, figured out ALL BY MYSELF, how to take a nice close up picture with my Fuji s800.

SUCH a difference, right? See the fine detail? Yes, yes, I'm just so smart, I know.

And also, I have an awesome food blender/processor and I've never read the instruction manual for that, and I can (mostly) work it, too.

List-Making Lover-Baby

I get no greater pleasure than to cross off an item (or check off, whichever you prefer) on a list I have made. Lists, lists, lists.... I LOVE making lists! I make "To-Do" lists most every day, and it feels AMAZING.

1. Get up at 7 AM (check)
2. Go to work (check)
3. Go to class (check)
4. Go to the gym (check)
5. Tell mom and dad I'm getting married...again. (KIDDING)

This is just an example of a typical Tracie Day.

I have a Master-List of Thing To Do In My Lifetime, including:

1. Go back to the Lourve in Paris and spend more than 3 hours there because after taking Hum 201 and 202, now I can REALLY appreciate it. (Plus last time, I was wearing really bad shoes and I had been walking all day and my feet were numb and all I wanted to do was sit)
2. Never go blonde again.
3. Own a pair of Jimmy Choos (or 2 or 3 or 4).
4. Do volunteer/charity work in South America.
5. Go cliff-diving in Hawaii.
6. Become a yoga instructor.
7. Go to Italy (or Fiji or Spain or Egypt or Jerusalem or India or Japan or Germany or Antartica or New Zealand or Nassau or Los Cabos)
8. See the Pyramids in Egypt (and find an un-discovered tomb and make millions)
9. Get married to the most amazing man I have ever met and have kids (no more than 4, please, and I'll take 3 girls and 1 boy. I happen to have way more girl names than boy names picked out.)
10. Work for NBA.com (my dream job--- interviewing Phil and the boys after practice to share with the world how the Lakers will conquer their next game).

Alas, I cannot cross off/uncheck any of these items yet... but, I suppose I should stop writing this post and go clean my apartment so I CAN cross off "Clean apartment for Sarah Anderson-Nolte's Baby Shower today".

1. Write new post for blog (check)

(And there's that sweet, sweet feeling of check-it-off satisfaction).

Legacy Photography/Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me

"You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you, You're so VAIN (you're so vain) I bet you think this song is about you, DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU."

That's what I'm humming to myself as I write this post. As if you can be anything OTHER than vain when you post glamour shots of yourself. I do it, however, out of the goodness of my heart (and she's humble, too) to promote the amazing photographers from LEGACY PHOTOGRAPHY, Ilcy and Stacy (located in Bakersfield, CA). They shot the best pictures I have ever taken... better than my senior portraits, better than myself, better than my mom when I was little, and a MILLION TIMES INFINITY times better than that guy in Salt Lake who did my head shots 3 years ago (If I ever remember his company's name, I'm going to write a scathing review).

Ok this one is a little tricky: go to the upper right corner of the page, click your mouse, and hold down the button as you drag your mouse over to the left. You might have to re-click to make the page you just dragged stay down.
See?? It's like reading a book---- Or..... you can just double click the corner of the page you want to turn. That might be easier.

Powered by GoodWidgets.com

Pictures courtesy of:

They specialize in:

Weddings

Special events

Self Portraits

Family Portraits

You name it!

Visit their website:www.Myspace.com/legacyphotobakersfield/

or contact Ilcy @ : legacyphotography_07@hotmail.com

Does service/good welfare/shameless promotion of the best photography company ever cancel out vanity? I hope so. Shoot, I've seen the movie Se7en. I know what happens to those who are vain.

Thank-you For Not Driving.

WARNING: This post contains a pledge, which if you read, or even take a peek at, or just skim quickly, you must follow, or the Spirits of Tailgaters Past will haunt your life FOREVER. FOR-EV-ER. FORR-EVV-ERR.

You know you do it. I know you do it. You know I know you know you do it. We've all done it. You merge onto the freeway. Careen over to the far-left lane. Set your cruise control at "85". And some Mormon, I mean moron (for reference when I'm driving on Utah Freeways, boo to everyone who drives the speed limit in the far left lane!!!) in front of you is in the fast lane going a measly 62 MPH. You pull up close behind them, flash your lights and do the "No-no-no" Mom Hand Signal. And. they. don't. move. So you move closer to them. And closer. And closer. And finally you're so close to the car in front of you, you can read all their bumper stickers very clearly ("My Grandson Was Child of the Week at Provo Elementary". Or "The Closer You Get, The Slower I Go". Or "Go Ahead and Honk, I Can't Hear You"). And they still. don't. move. And we inch closer and closer and closer until we're fed up and we change lanes to indignantly speed around them. You KNOW you do it too! But, there are rules, right? You ONLY tailgate at certain times. Like when someone is going slow in the fast lane (I'm talking to YOU, I-15 Riders of Utah and Salt Lake County). Or someone who doesn't go the speed limit in residential areas.

But here's where my beef lies: people who needlessly tailgate. I see cars who pull up too close behind me to "encourage" (yeah, encourage... it's a bit more like INTIMIDATE) me to go faster. WELL, GUESS WHAT?? I CAN'T!! THERE'S TRAFFIC!! Can you open your eyes for, like a SECOND, and see that everyone else is going at a steady pace of 55 MPH on the freeway, there are too many cars on the road to pass anyone, and it's doing you no good to ride my car's booty??!?? So get OFF my tail, because all you're doing is making me ANGRY. 'Cause I'll slow down. And ride my brakes. And then speed up so you can't pass. And I'll play this cat-and-mouse game with you until you stop. And I don't care what faces you make at me. Or gestures you give. I don't put up with Tacky Tailgaters.

(Please raise your right arm and repeat after me)

In the name of my Fellow Drivers of the World. I, [Insert your name here], vow to never be a Tacky Tailgater. I promise that I will only Tailgate under said Tailgate Rules and Regulations (see Paragraph 1-2 from above). And I'll also ALWAYS signal when I switch lanes. And I swear I'll never slow down to a full and complete stop just to turn into a parking lot, or onto a street. And I promise when I'm old and senile (no offense Grandma), I won't drive. And if I do, I won't self-righteously drive in the fast lane going 55 MPH, even IF I've paid my tithing for the month and I want to obey all traffic rules so I can be One-with-God and think everyone going over 60 MPH is of the Devil. And I'll stop at every stop sign. And I will also follow the lane assignments given on the following picture made by Tracie. And I pledge these things in the name of glory, good citizenship, and for all those who've been wronged on the road.

LANE ASSIGNMENTS: