The Other Guy in My Life...

This is Eric. He is my fiance who is leaving me in less than 2 weeks to move to Houston to get a job (He graduates Thursday, yay!!!).
What does this mean? Tracie is dateless for the summer... OR IS SHE????

This is William Brian Nolte. The one single guy Eric says I am allowed to be alone with this summer. Eric says he won't even mind if I take his pants off-- (OKAY, people, we're talking poopy diapers here!) Woot Woot. I hope he pays when we go to the movies... or at least refrains from spitting up on me...

Which one is cuter? Which one is cuter? I don't know, I don't know, but I have 4 months to make up my mind!

The Susan Boyle-Wonder

When I first saw the video clip of Susan Boyle, my heart went out to her-- she's 47, unemployed, and has never been kissed. She lives in a small village in Scotland, in the same house she grew up in. And since the death of both her parents, her only house companion is her cat, Pebbles.

Before she started singing, there was an air of superiority from the judges and audience--there was no way this woman had any talent at all--it appeared to be another William Hung media set-up.

She started singing on Britain's Got Talent (my most favorite song from my most favorite musical), I could not believe the voice I was hearing. I watched a modern day fairytale unfold in front of my eyes. I wasn't the only one who was floored---Simon Cowell was too. (See the video here and take a peek at the look on Simon's face and laugh, cry, be amazed, wowed, at her performance.) All 3 judges gave her an enthusiastic "Yes" to go to the next round.

What makes Susan an internet and media phenomenon? There are many people out there who can sing and who can sing well-- thus, Susan Boyle must contain something extra that speaks to the hearts of millions around the world. Susan is special because she's the commoner's heroine. The middle class of Britain cheer for the woman who is one of them-- and finally finding the spotlight at age 47.

Hear her sing on a charity CD released over 10 years ago:



It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


And don't worry--she's already gotten plenty of offers for her first kiss--most notably from Talent judge Piers Morgan.

Susan- I'm cheering for you in Utah, and I hope you achieve everything you more than deserve!!

F.I.N.A.L.S.

I don't have a clean, Mormonified acronym for "Finals", and I'm not gonna use the one I know. Needless to say, finals are finally upon us here at BYU and we get to laugh in the faces of our out-of-state peers who still have two months-ish left of school, who were laughing at us just last week during their Spring Break vacays.

This is my LAST full semester (FINALLY!!!) and I cannot be happier. I can't WAIT to get out of Provo. It has brought me the best times and the worst times in my life.

I will not write another Ode to Finals Week. I don't think these lasts tests I take warrant such a loving and thoughtful and time-consuming action from myself.

Yay for me! I graduate as soon as I finish my internship! With the Orem Owlz!

But I just keep thinking...

What will I do without my security blanket of school and PELL grants... how am I going to SURVIVE?? Eeekk!!!!

I think I'm just gonna go hide in my bedroom and watch reruns of Desperate Housewives while eating my Banana Cake with cream cheese frosting...

Don't Worry 'Bout Me, I Got It Covered...

Let's face it, ladies, there are just certain times of the month when one would kill for a brownie (Skinny Brittany) or one might have a hankering for any kind of cake that includes cream cheese frosting (who, me???)...

Yes, guilty as charged. I guess I shouldn't make it quite so obvious by hugging the Booty Filler/Fat Lump Creator.

I shouldn't love it so much, but there's really nothing I can do, and when the hormones are a'raging, I must be a'eatin', or all H-E Double Hockey Sticks breaks loose.

But really, after a grapes and banana Saturday night, I was ready. And thank-you, Easter, and really, any holiday, that allows for the extra sumptousness and trans fatty-ness in my increasingly bland and organic only life.

And I believe tomorrow is Easter Monday (there IS such a holiday!), so I, of course, must celebrate the holiday by eating my homemade banana cake with cream cheese frosting.

Oh crap... what am I going to be like when I'm PREGNANT?? Poor Eric... poor, poor Eric. Start praying for his sanity and safety now.

I'm Dreaming of...

Homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, homemade brownies with homemade frosting, Texas sheet cake, Kentucky Butter Pound Cake, banana cake with cream cheese frosting, heck, even a DING-DONG.

Such are the dreams of those who can no longer keep a size 2 while eating whatever they want (my glory years of high school). Trust me on this one... my booty can balloon an inch with each bite of homemade brownies. Stop growing. Stop it.

And now, I'm off to the gym after a snack of grapes and a banana. *Sigh*

Mascara Ads: This is something I've been thinking about for a while...

I enjoy make up. Really, I do. I have been an avid MAC user since I was twelve, and recently converted over to BareMinerals as well.

But now I must expose them for their LIES:

THESE EYELASHES ARE FAKE.

I am utterly annoyed by every and all mascara ads. Not ONE of these models are wearing their own lashes--- ALL. FAKE. Every time a mascara ad comes on (especially the CoverGirl one with Drew Barrymore) I must change the channel to avoid throwing my TV out my window screaming "LIARS!!!!!" I get so peeved that these advertisers think we will actually believe their client's product has magically transformed the beautiful model's eyelashes into lush, gorgeous works of art.

Just give me an oldie but goodie and I'll be happy:

And, in the end, would we really buy their product if the eyelashes were short and clumpy? No. But let's be honest in our advertising...

Let's Discuss How I Waste My Spare Time: DWTS, American Idol, etc.

DWTS: Holly and Steve gone? !!!STEVE IS GONE!!! I'm not mad at America anymore. Kinda sad Holly is gone, I got somewhat attached to her because I used to watch The Girls Next Door when I lived at Belmont and I liked her on that show. Stereotypical that I watched trashy TV while living at Belmont?? Yes.

American Idol: Megan gone? Ok. She had a unique voice, but that girl could not hold a note on key if it killed her. Whiny voice too. But normal speaking voice...?? I don't get it. Weird. And, I like Anoop, but that could just be because he reminds me of the guy that stars in Slumdog Millionaire, plus I like anything Bollywood: SYTYCD? Bollywood night, Belly Dancing, Yoga, etc.


It's no secret:I fancy crime shows. I savor Law and Order, any one, but SVU is my favorite, followed closely by Criminal Intent. And I relish Criminal Minds and Monk and Psych and now: Castle, which has an interesting twist on the usual crime show mold (Detective works with best-selling crime fiction author with sexual tension between the two while they work on cases together). I know that really, they are all the same, but let me indulge in some good, profligate television in peace! (And really, I'll watch anything on USA: reruns of House, Law and Order, Monk, Psych, Burn Notice...)


And last, but not least, I would like to comment on the fact that I did nothing last Friday except watch the entire first season of Samantha Who? online, and I. LOVE. IT. Christina Applegate has been a fav. of mine since Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.


Sheesh...and I wonder why I have !!9!! papers to write this weekend...

Cheers and Jeers: Week in Review (New Feature!!... I'm so creative)

Okay people, here is my list of top ten things you should CHEER/JEER about last week (Yes, I semi-stole this from TV Guide.)

1. Jeers to Jon and Kate + 8. IT WAS A TOTAL SCAM. They aren't having marriage troubles... Jon is having identity issues. Get over it, Jon... you just bought a 1.4 million dollar house. I DON'T feel sorry for you.

2. Jeers to President Obama for scheduling a news conference during American Idol. I didn't learn anything new from the O, and I missed out on my Reality-TV Fix (see #7).

3. Cheers to facebook for starting a new "Pick your 5" application. The movies section includes ALL the old Disney Channel Original Movies. Love it.

4. Cheers to me and Brittany for eating (almost) an entire pan of homemade chocolate brownies. YUM YUM YUM.

5. Cheers to LILY ALLEN who is coming to Salt Lake City next month! AND I'M GOING TO THE CONCERT!! You don't understand, you guys... Alright, Still was the album that got me through my "tough times" last year. It's BRILLIANT. She's BRILLIANT. AND she coined my theme for the year: "I'm not a saint, and I'm not a sinner, and everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner." AND I get to hear her in person. Double Cheers for me.

6. JEERS to America for voting off Denise Richards from DWTS. It HURTS MY EYES to watch Steve Woz dance. HURTS my eyes. I don't think he deserved a 10 or to stay on the show. I have a theory he has some sort of advanced phone-calling system set up so he can win based off of votes alone...

7. CHEERS TO ME, who finally admitted that I am a (classy) Reality TV Junkie. I have to get my fix every week. But only with classy shows like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars and American's Next Top Model. NOT TRASHY SHOWS like Rock of Love, The Hills, The City, The Real World, Celebrity Rehab, etc.

8. CHEERS TO ME... my room has been completely clean this ENTIRE week. First time in my life! (I had to show E that I can be domestic... not to be confused with animal domestication)

9. JEERS to UCLA who lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament... they TOTALLY screwed up my bracket.

10. JEERS to Utah for NOT having spring like weather during the week we officially made it into spring. IT SNOWED last night. Yucky.

Stay tuned for next week's edition of CHEERS & JEERS... (now a Thursday feature, since I get out of school EARLY, and thus start my weekend EARLY)

What the Jon and Kate + 8?????

YOU GUYS. I am SO MAD. CAN YOU TELL? WHEN I AM ANGRY I WRITE IN ALL CAPS.

So one of my fav shows is Jon and Kate + 8. I feel like a member of the family because I get to experience everything with them. And I can't even stand to watch it anymore.

Apparently, they are having marital troubles (I, of course, understand that and my heart goes out to them!!!!!!). But DIVORCE RUMORS?? THEY HAVE EIGHT KIDS!! They need to cancel the show and cancel their speaking assignments and whatever else (Kate is ALWAYS gone these days) and move out of their 1.3 million dollar mansion and move into a modest but nice house and go to therapy and try and work it out for the sake of their kids. At least TRY. And Jon, you can stop going to the bars with the college girls. Grow up. You have eight kids. STOP GOING TO BARS!!

I mean, seriously, what are they going to do? Split the kids 50-50? I feel bad for the KIDS.

SO MAD. STILL MAD. But def. going to watch the season finale Monday night. Can't help it. (And if I change the channel during commercials, then I can say that I don't support the show financially, and screw the advertisers, right?? Right.)

Oh, THAT's how you do it.

Instruction manuals are for wussies.

According to the Book of Tracie on Life, anyway. I don't have time to sit around and actually READ how to do something. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to figure it out for myself. (But you should, *DUH*, read the Book of Tracie on Life).

Example A: Brita Pitcher:

Sooooo there's this thing called a filter that goes inside the Brita pitcher. I TRIED and I TRIED and I TRIED and I couldn't get the darn thing to fit inside. I guess I just wasn't strong enough (this WAS before my new found gym addiction where I am now lifting... 12 lbs!!!! On each arm!!!!).
I was SO MAD. I didn't WANT to drink Provo Water anymore... I wanted it filtered! *Starts the "I'm a 3 year old" temper-tantrum and stomps around kitchen*
Well, Fiance E came over and saw the predicament I was in.... took the filter and pitcher from my hand... turned the filter clock-wise so the right grooves in the filter lined up with the right grooves in the pictcher (WHAT?? Are you SERIOUS??), and there I stood, World's Biggest Idiot. Who could now, of course, drink filtered water. (YUM!)

That said, sometimes my own "smarts" take me months to figure something out on a gadget as opposed to reading it in 5 minutes when I first buy the product to save myself years of frustration and gray hairs.

My Camera: Fuji s800:

It's pretty, right?? Well imagine my frustration when I try to use my AWESOME camera for close up shots of my new bling bling on my left hand... and it turns. out. blurry. SO MAD. >:( *frowny face*

I mean, the ring LOOKS pretty and big, but why doesn't it can't one see the fine detail of this gorgeous ring?

Well, leave it to me to NOT open the instruction manual for my camera to see how I can make my picture better. Yes, I am proud to admit, after owning this camera for seven months, I, Tracie L. K*****, figured out ALL BY MYSELF, how to take a nice close up picture with my Fuji s800.

SUCH a difference, right? See the fine detail? Yes, yes, I'm just so smart, I know.

And also, I have an awesome food blender/processor and I've never read the instruction manual for that, and I can (mostly) work it, too.