Oh, THAT's how you do it.

Instruction manuals are for wussies.

According to the Book of Tracie on Life, anyway. I don't have time to sit around and actually READ how to do something. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to figure it out for myself. (But you should, *DUH*, read the Book of Tracie on Life).

Example A: Brita Pitcher:

Sooooo there's this thing called a filter that goes inside the Brita pitcher. I TRIED and I TRIED and I TRIED and I couldn't get the darn thing to fit inside. I guess I just wasn't strong enough (this WAS before my new found gym addiction where I am now lifting... 12 lbs!!!! On each arm!!!!).
I was SO MAD. I didn't WANT to drink Provo Water anymore... I wanted it filtered! *Starts the "I'm a 3 year old" temper-tantrum and stomps around kitchen*
Well, Fiance E came over and saw the predicament I was in.... took the filter and pitcher from my hand... turned the filter clock-wise so the right grooves in the filter lined up with the right grooves in the pictcher (WHAT?? Are you SERIOUS??), and there I stood, World's Biggest Idiot. Who could now, of course, drink filtered water. (YUM!)

That said, sometimes my own "smarts" take me months to figure something out on a gadget as opposed to reading it in 5 minutes when I first buy the product to save myself years of frustration and gray hairs.

My Camera: Fuji s800:

It's pretty, right?? Well imagine my frustration when I try to use my AWESOME camera for close up shots of my new bling bling on my left hand... and it turns. out. blurry. SO MAD. >:( *frowny face*

I mean, the ring LOOKS pretty and big, but why doesn't it can't one see the fine detail of this gorgeous ring?

Well, leave it to me to NOT open the instruction manual for my camera to see how I can make my picture better. Yes, I am proud to admit, after owning this camera for seven months, I, Tracie L. K*****, figured out ALL BY MYSELF, how to take a nice close up picture with my Fuji s800.

SUCH a difference, right? See the fine detail? Yes, yes, I'm just so smart, I know.

And also, I have an awesome food blender/processor and I've never read the instruction manual for that, and I can (mostly) work it, too.

Some Things I Think About on a Friday Night When my Fiance is Snowboarding and I'm Watching Camp Rock on the Disney Channel

1. Saying "BTW" is longer than actually saying "By The Way". Don't do it.



2. Me and my best friend Brittany are both engaged and so we're slightly wedding obsessed and I love it.



3. My little cousin Nora to the lady at church who commented on her pretty dress: "Yeah, my cousin Tracie has a lot of weddings so I get lots of pretty dresses". (Thanks, Nora. And she's only seven! Where does she come up with this stuff??? Out of the Mouths of Babes, I guess.)



4. I'm not hating "Camp Rock" as much as I thought I would; it actually reminds me of Friday nights in elementary school and junior high when I would watch the Disney Channel Orignal Movies with Sarah, like "Wish Upon a Star" (MY FAV) and "Not Quite Human" (oldie but goodie) and "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century". I KNOW you watched them too.

5. I'm eagerly awaiting homemade brownies with homemade frosting that Brittany and Fiance Dave are making in the kitchen. My aunt's recipe... and Brittany's making me proud. She used to be incompetent enough to screw up box brownies. She's come so far.

Speaking of the most awesome brownies ever, here's the recipe:

MOST AWESOME BROWNIES EVER:
1 c. butter
2 c. sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 cocoa powder
1 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder

Melt butter, add sugar, eggs, vanilla. Add cocoa, flour, salt, baking powder. MIX. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Must go to gym after consuming.

FROSTING:
6 tbsp. butter
6 tbsp. cocoa powder
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tbsp. honey
2 cups powdered sugar

Mix together. Wait until brownies have completely cooled before you spread on top. YOU BETTER MAKE THE FROSTING TOO!! Otherwise the brownies just won't be the same.

Now eat, enjoy, then do 2 hours of cardio, 1 hour of weights!! Go, Go!

Buy Some Happiness

Whoever said money can't buy happiness

isn't spending it right.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, may I present Exhibit A:

Here I can find HAPPINESS:

the perfect jacket/shoe/shirt/pair of jeans/makeup item/dress.

No longer will Wish Lists calm my troubled mind and put to sleep the urge I fight every day to find more happiness.

It's that feeling of elation, pure ecstasy when you glance down at your shopping bags, knowing each purchase has added an extra piece of happiness into your life. There is a solid conviction that this is the "IT" item that will complete your wardrobe, never again having to fight the crowds, the young moms with seemingly limitless credit cards... (and limitless children... University Mall, anyone??)

Unfortunately, the moment of bliss is fleeting, fleeing away after the "IT" item has been worn only once.

And so, on to the mall, I must go back, and brave the crowds, searching high and low, to complete my destiny (AKA wardrobe), and to ne'er let down Stacy or Clinton, who I hold in the highest esteem in regards of what to wear... or What Not to Wear. (Laugh now, please).

So, next time they say, "Money can't buy you happiness"...

DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.

Because they obviously have never heard of Nordstrom. Or the Internet, because Nordstrom is online.

Some May Say, Only Fools Rush In.

Soooooooo...

I had the BEST Valentine's Day Ever.

I mean, it really, really, really beat out every other V-Day (especially last year).

Annnnnnnddddddd... something pretty special happened that night with my special someone.

Without further ado...

Yes, that is the World's Prettiest Diamond Ring, and yes, that is my LEFT HAND.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm engaged (!)

(Warning: further reading could cause your head to spin and stomach to hurt with amount of chessiness/mushiness/loveiness.)

I'm engaged, I'm engaged, to the most wonderful guy I have EVER EVER EVER met! I mean, come on, even my 16 year old brother Brad likes him. And that's saying something.

"Why, Tracie, why, are you engaged so soon?" you may ask.

Some reasons are too personal to throw around on a blog like croutons in a salad (That's for you James).

Some reasons I can shout out right here:

He's nice, generous, loving, caring, compassionate, HONEST, hard-working, ambitious, friendly, respectful, awesome, amazing, wonderful... and my best friend.

(Awww... I know).

AND I've known him for three years.

Unless you've lived my life, DON'T JUDGE ME. Because you never have, and never will, know every single detail about me.

So, world, judge me if you want, but I. DON'T. CARE.

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my ENTIRE LIFE.

So be happy for me :)

The End.


I can't help falling in love...

CONTEST: Gold's Gym vs 24 Hour Fitness

Gold's Gym: Waived everything except $2o processing fee.
24 Hour: Wouldn't waive any fee, cost over $150 to sign up.
Gold's Gym: Bigger with more cardio equipment.
24 Hour: 2 stories, everything not crowded into one room.
Gold's Gym: Separate room for women to work out in.
24 Hour: Costs more per month.
Gold's Gym: Costs less per month.
24 Hour: Many places across US to transfer to.
Gold's Gym: Not as many places to transfer to.
24 Hour: See old flames there.
Gold's Gym (on 9th): See WAYYY too many old flames there.
Gold's Gym (Orem): See family members of EX there.
24 Hour: Only ONE place in Utah Valley.
Gold's Gym: 8 places in Utah Valley (off memory)
Gold's Gym: Allowed me and the BF to get on the same contract.
24 Hour: Allowed Britt and her fiance to get on the same contract.
Gold's Gym: Nicer people (totally not objective and has no real basis for evidential support)
Gold's Gym: HD TVs on almost all equipment, and shows LA Lakers games.
24 Hour: I guess they show Lakers games.

WINNER: GOLD'S GYM IN OREM.

See me there nightly at 7 PM. (ish). I'm addicted. I can't stop. I love it. I LOVE IT. I. LOVE. IT.

Top 11 Favorite Saturday-Morning Cartoons (Early 90s)

1. Animaniacs
2. Pinky and the Brain
3. The Angry Beavers
4. Tiny Toons (We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney)
5. Doug
6. Muppet Babies
7. Tailspin
8. Rescue Rangers
9. Duck Tales (Ooo-ooo!)
10. Gummi Bears (Bouncing here and there and everywhere)
11. Superman (The one on the WB 12 years ago)

Am I forgetting anything? (I did NOT like Transformers or He-Man and the Masters of the Universe or GI Joe or Thundercats... those were boy-ish cartoons that my brother James watched and I HATED.)

Let Him Sleep Before He Makes Important Decisions About Our Country!!

He had to attend over 9 balls last night, and by 12 AM Eastern time, they still had 8 left to go.

Do you REALLY think that Pres. O got any sleep last night?

And first on his agenda today is to meet with top military officials, call Israeli, Palestinian, Egyptian, and Jordanian leaders, make decisions about the future of our country.

Sleep-depravity is proven to be worse than being drunk.

So we have a sleep-deprived president, on his first day of the job, calling the leaders across the world, making decisions on how to run this country.

You gotta feel bad for the guy!! He must be ready to drop. I bet he's a little bit grouchy. (I would be if I didn't get any sleep, too!)

Dear Mr President,

Please get a little shut-eye before you talk to the leaders of the most war-torn countries on the planet and make important decisions affecting the future of our country.

Thank you,

Tracie

List-Making Lover-Baby

I get no greater pleasure than to cross off an item (or check off, whichever you prefer) on a list I have made. Lists, lists, lists.... I LOVE making lists! I make "To-Do" lists most every day, and it feels AMAZING.

1. Get up at 7 AM (check)
2. Go to work (check)
3. Go to class (check)
4. Go to the gym (check)
5. Tell mom and dad I'm getting married...again. (KIDDING)

This is just an example of a typical Tracie Day.

I have a Master-List of Thing To Do In My Lifetime, including:

1. Go back to the Lourve in Paris and spend more than 3 hours there because after taking Hum 201 and 202, now I can REALLY appreciate it. (Plus last time, I was wearing really bad shoes and I had been walking all day and my feet were numb and all I wanted to do was sit)
2. Never go blonde again.
3. Own a pair of Jimmy Choos (or 2 or 3 or 4).
4. Do volunteer/charity work in South America.
5. Go cliff-diving in Hawaii.
6. Become a yoga instructor.
7. Go to Italy (or Fiji or Spain or Egypt or Jerusalem or India or Japan or Germany or Antartica or New Zealand or Nassau or Los Cabos)
8. See the Pyramids in Egypt (and find an un-discovered tomb and make millions)
9. Get married to the most amazing man I have ever met and have kids (no more than 4, please, and I'll take 3 girls and 1 boy. I happen to have way more girl names than boy names picked out.)
10. Work for NBA.com (my dream job--- interviewing Phil and the boys after practice to share with the world how the Lakers will conquer their next game).

Alas, I cannot cross off/uncheck any of these items yet... but, I suppose I should stop writing this post and go clean my apartment so I CAN cross off "Clean apartment for Sarah Anderson-Nolte's Baby Shower today".

1. Write new post for blog (check)

(And there's that sweet, sweet feeling of check-it-off satisfaction).

I need a new title? And 10 Things I Hate About SNOW and 2 Things I Love

Bored with "Un-Wedded Bliss". And I'm 99.999999999% sure I'll be needing a new one.

Sooooooooo-----------------------------------

I need to come up with something else.

Any ideas? Let me know!!


10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE SNOW:
1. It's white.
2. It's wet.
3. It stays on the ground for a long time.
4. It's slippery.
5. It gets dirty and then it's REALLY ugly.
6. It doesn't stop falling from the sky.
7. It slows down traffic.
8. It forces me to wear the same (but extremely CUTE) black, leather, knee-high boots every day.
9. It forces me to wear big coats to cover up my cute, new winter clothes.
10. It hurts when you fall in/on it.

2 Things I LOVE About the Snow:
1. It looks pretty on the mountains.
2. It gives me a good excuse to cuddle close with someone special.

Ode to Finals Week

Finals week is finally here,
I haven't studied, but what's new this year?
A million projects, but only 2 finals,
With all the snow, I'll slip and need a spinal.
Procrastination is the key,
I put off and put off and then become stress-y.
I can't stand being at school,
I'd rather be with You-Know-Who.
I'm going crazy, I'm going insane,
I don't think it works (my brain).
Help! Help! I can't stand it anymore!
Completing projects is such a chore!
I'm almost done, 24 hours to go,
Oh Winter Demons, can you please stop the snow?
NO MORE SNOW.
NO MORE SCHOOL.

The End.